Crazy Little Thing Called 'Love'

Love. It’s a natural desire. We all want to love and to be loved in return. It seems simple, I love you + you love me = happily ever after, right? Wrong. There are so many different types of “love relationships” but I’m going to focus on the one we all want to hear about. “The can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of love.” You know, when you meet that one special person and all of a sudden your world becomes brighter, you start to care more about your appearance, applying some make-up or actually doing your hair instead of just throwing it up. You start to act like the person you want your new person to believe you to be (as if by some coincidence your new obsession can some how see your every move). You stare at the phone, becoming legitimately upset when it’s your mom lighting up the screen and then acting like you’ve just cured cancer when it happens to be the person you’ve been waiting for. It’s okay, you can admit it, we’ve all been there. No matter what anyone wants you to believe, love is the engine that keeps our machine going. I have been fortunate enough to experience these feelings first hand and also fortunate enough to be on the opposite side of that plateau, the downward spiral. There is ALWAYS a pivotal moment in every relationship that comes to an end, the moment when you know it’s over whether you actually decide to end it or not. The feelings that come with that moment are everyone’s worst nightmare. [Unless you’re a masochist and are into that sort of thing (hey, I don’t judge)]. The sinking gut, the endless tears, the fear of waking up in the morning and remembering what happened, reaching for the phone to send a text or make a call that you’re no longer allowed to make and then realizing you’re no longer allowed to make it. It’s miserable, it’s hell, it’s depressing, it’s the epitome of reaching rock bottom, BUT, it’s only temporary. Yes, that’s right. It will go away. They say time heals all wounds but I must admit, I don’t necessarily agree. Time makes dealing with wounds easier, time lessens the pain, but YOU have to heal your own wounds.

We all have that person. The one we will always remember no matter how hard we try to forget. I like to refer to mine as “That One Boy”. That One Boy was the one I (naively) thought I would marry one day. The one I fell desperately in love with, the one I spent years of my life with and the one that shattered my heart into tiny pieces not once, but twice. That One Boy was the one I thought I’d never get over, but after That One Boy comes the one I like to refer to as The “if only” Boy. The one is just couldn’t work with. The one I met several months after That One Boy and the one I came oh so close to loving. We all have one of those. The person that catches you completely off guard and makes you actually feel something again. All of a sudden those crazy feelings and behaviors are coming back and That One Boy is a distant memory (believe me, GREAT feeling). The “if only” Boy teaches us how to open up again, even though That One Boy made us feel as though we never would. My “relationship” with The “if only” Boy was short-lived, lasting only a few months but very much worth every second.

Over the course of the past year or more of single life I’ve learned one VERY valuable lesson: the love affair you have with yourself is the greatest love affair of all. Love yourself completely and I promise, you will love other’s more whole heartedly. You DO NOT need someone else to define the person that you are. You’re beautiful and you’re worth a million times more than what the one who broke you heart could give you, I promise. So get up in the morning and smile, do things that make you happy, spend quality time with yourself and give back to others. Know that you are amazing, and tell yourself every day. Love is a choice, choose to love yourself and choose to love others not because you have to, but because you want to. Love purely, unconditionally, wildy, intoxicatingly and with out regret.

That One Boy: I’ll always love you, and (yet again) I forgive you. Not for your benefit, but for my own. Thank you for all of the lessons you taught me, I (sincerely) wish you the best of luck.

The “if only” Boy: You meant more to me than you will ever know. Thank you for helping me open up my heart again and of course, for being extraordinarily wonderful.

To My Future and Forever Boy: I’m very much looking forward to meeting you…one day.

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."

Morrie Schwartz

"...but the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all if the one you have with yourself.

And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."

Sex and The City