These Are a Few of My Favorite Things (singing voice)

We all have things that make us happy. From a certain type of food to your favorite getaway, these things just put a smile on your face and bring solace to your day. Make a list of your favorite things and try to incorporate AT LEAST one item into your daily routine. Allow yourself to forget about all of the stress, the worrying, or the things that need to be done, just for a few minutes, and you will begin to become an all around happier person. Here is a list of some of my favorite things, although my list could go on forever!

Red Velvet Cake

Runaway Bride

Strawberry Banana Smoothies

Traveling

Potatoes (of any kind…the more carbs, the better!)

Reading

Writing

Oprah Winfrey (we’re best friends)

Ellen DeGeneres (she completes the Tia-Oprah-Ellen trifecta)

Sleeping in (something that unfortunately doesn’t/can’t apply to my life until this semester is over)

Making lists ( I like crossing things off)

Venting (I’m sorry to those of you that have to endure my raw emotions)

Tim Tebow (Yes, I’m one of THOSE girls)

Criminal Minds (as in the television show, although I would enjoy dissecting a criminal’s mind.)

Psychology

Black and White pictures

Pedicures (bi-weekly, it’s mandatory)

Hanging out with Sarae

Ellie's smile

Now, for a few of my favorite quotes :)

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

-Ghandi

"It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

"..but the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."

-Sex and the City

I'll Take Insomnia With a Side of Obesity, Please.

As a full-time college student many of us experience stress in waves. The tsunami of all tsunamis typically rears it's ugly head as we're sitting in the last class of the week, going over our syllabus, reading the course calendar and realizing we have a test scheduled in every class, on the same day all semester long. At this point we begin to convince ourselves that all of our professors got together, decided they hated every single one of their students, plotted against us, thus planning our d-day and probably laughing about it. Narcissists. Then of course, it returns at the end of the semester in the form of final exams, just to remind us that we really don't have lives and that tiny intermission was just a test. To add to that death sentence there are also papers, homework assignments, quizzes, if you're a psych major like myself there is TONS and I mean TONS of research on topics you probably don't care too much about, grad school preparation (GRE, GMAT) labs, internships, externships, reading, and the list goes on. Oh, but life doesn't end there. Our slavery duties then spill over to the workplace. If you're anything like me it takes everything you have NOT to think about everything else you could possibly be doing with your time while instead, you're pretending to like the annoying people walking into your place of business (annoying because they have a day off and you don't), faking smiles, and doing everything you can to make their day better when really, all you want to do is go home, and go to sleep (which you can't do because when you go home you have 45 assignments and 3 quizzes to submit before midnight). Trying to have a social life is almost impossible, you find yourself fitting people in at odd hours of the night, googling late night salons, dentist offices, doctor's offices and who knows what else in hopes of not looking like a wreck all semester, working out at 2 am and scheduling sleep. If you couldn't already tell, The Stressful Life of a College Senior would take up about 500 pages in my biography and then the book would end. Recently, I found myself stressing out about the amount of stress I've (unfortunately) put on myself this semester and came across an article on ways to manage stress. Here's what I thought important:

Effects of Stress (not in any particular order)                           
1. Insomnia (Check)
2. Obesity
3. Heart disease
4. Skin conditons
5.Autoimmune disease
6. Memory loss (Check)
7. Moodiness (Check)
8. Agitation (Check)
9. Short-temper (Check)
10. Feeling overwhelmed (double-check)

Stress-Relievers (not in any particular order)
1.Listen to music
2. Have sex
3. Balance your diet
4. Journal
5. Exercise
6. Meditation
7. Do something you love
8. Set aside personal time (mental health days!)
9. Say 'no' more often
10. Hang out with a kid

I for one will be practicing some of these stress relieving activities in high hopes of salvaging my sanity. I highly suggest you all do the same!

"Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency."

         -Natalie Goldberg

"Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering."

                           - Pooh's Little Instruction Book

Once Upon a New York City

Hello world J I must first apologize for my short sabbatical for I was busy crossing things off of my bucket list and falling in love with yet another city. Christmas night my best friend of nearly two decades and I embarked on an alluring ten day journey to the ever enchanting New York City. I’m no stranger to being captivated by the beauty of a city, earlier this year London stole part of my heart and then Washington D.C changed my life, but I will say New York City was by far the most mesmerizing. The second we stepped off the airplane (after layering ourselves enough to sleep on the streets of Antarctica) I could feel my mood and complete state of mind begin to uplift. I felt as though I walked out of the end of a very hard year/harsh reality and into my own personal fairytale. Our first stop was Times Square and let me just say, those lights really will inspire you. Going from complete darkness on a side street to turning the corner and having to squint your eyes was something I’d never experienced (unless you count being blinded by the bathroom light at 4 am). After a short walk through Times Square we made the hour long odyssey (it really is an odyssey) to Poughkeepsie where we (unknowingly) spent the next two days straight thanks to a lovely blizzard. Stormi had never seen snow before so this was exceptionally exciting for her and mildly exciting for me. Don’t get me wrong, I do adore the pristine fluffiness and exquisite beauty of snow as it sits on trees and lands in your hair but I absolutely could not wait to get back to the city that had me at hello. After two (very relaxing) days in Poughkeepsie we jumped on a train and headed to the concrete jungle. When I say we “jumped” on the train, I’m being dramatic. We actually sat on the train for nearly two hours, reading our New York City site seeing book and “oooing and ahhhing” at the exquisite countryside. The first day we walked around everywhere and ended the day at Ground Zero. The gut-wrenching, knot-in-throat feeling that comes with walking beside the memorial wall, reading the dedications, seeing the cards and flowers that cover the sidewalks, and looking down on the (nearly built up) terrorist attack site is indescribable and something I believe everyone in this country should experience. Our tour guide was a first responder firefighter/survivor of 9.11 and his story brought me to tears. Something I never thought about until listening to him speak is the aftermath for the survivors. For me, (and millions more) 9.11 happened, it was on the news for what seemed like an eternity, it was sad but then I moved on. For him, and for all of the survivors and families of those that didn’t, 9.11 is a part of their every day and will be for the rest of their lives. The replaying of the events, the replaying of the last time they said “I love you”, the PTSD and the loss they all suffered is something they live through every day, something they should be applauded for, and something I could never fathom.

The next couple days were spent walking through the city, learning the subway routes and trying to stay warm. Central Park is beautiful, especially with snow covering nearly every inch of every hill. The Empire State Building made me nauseas but the view was breathtaking (make sure you spend the extra 15 bucks and go all the way to the top), Canal Street is definitely an experience worth partaking from the sellers stalking you on the streets to feeling like you’re making a drug deal when they hustle you into random restaurants, your stories will be timeless. The food in Little Italy (and basically the entire city) is something to write home about, the pizza is by far the best I’ve had, and the desserts are literally mouth watering. I didn’t even consider the hours of cardio I would have to put into working it all off as I took every single Heavenly bite. The Statue of Liberty is not as big as I thought she would be, nevertheless still Lady Lib. I don’t eat hot dogs but according to Stormi, they were phenomenal, as were the (very large) pretzels. Now, for the two things no one talks about but I think everyone should experience. Serendipity 3, and Ellen’s Stardust Diner. If you’re familiar with the movie “Serendipity” you may know which restaurant I’m referring to. Serendipity 3 is a charming little place off of

East 60^th Street

that serves a sinfully delicious dessert known as Frrrozen Hot Chocolate. Ever since I was twelve years old I dreamed of walking through the doors of this quaint restaurant and ordering one. As I got older the thought of randomly meeting John Cusack added to the allure. Frrrozen Hot Chocolate comes in a large enough for two glass and as I’m sure many of you are wondering, it’s cold and worth every single second of the ten year, two hour wait. I was like a kid on Christmas Eve, nearly bursting with excitement when the host called our names. Inside, there are Tiffany lamps hanging from almost every inch of the ceiling, lights, clocks, mirrors and decorative bulbs everywhere. This place is the epitome of delightful and I was completely enthralled.

Ellen’s Stardust Diner is a place a very sweet girl from Florida’s Hospital for Children told me I HAD to visit. It’s a 1950’s themed diner with pictures of Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, all of the Subway Girls, diner seats, neon lights, 50’s cars and vinyl records lining the walls. The special thing about this place is that all of the wait staff are auditioning for Broadway and they take turns singing songs from different musicals as well as some off the radio. These people don’t just sing, they put it all into these performances, walking across the tables, involving the customers, and putting on quirky glasses and outfits. This diner was by far one of my favorite, most memorable experiences in the city.

If you have a chance, and about ten extra minutes, take the 6 train downtown and when you get to the Brooklyn Bridge/City Hall stop DON’T GET OFF. They will tell you to get off, and you’ll feel like you probably should get off being that everyone else is and now they’re staring at you for your lack of movement but trust me, you won’t want to miss what happens next. As the train makes it’s turn around to become an uptown train you will pass a terminal called “City Hall” it was built and never used and it’s absolutely marvelous. I came across a random article about it before the trip and am SO thankful I did. Make sure you’re paying attention, you stop in front of it for literally 15 seconds (during which you will begin to freak out and assume the train is stopped forever and you’re never going to return, thus implying you will die on the 6 never to be heard from again) and then it continues uptown.

New Year’s Eve is something I will remember for the rest of my life. We got to Times Square around 4 pm and walked right in. After standing around the outside of the barricade for a while, we were ushered in and with in five minutes had made some amazing new friends. I like to refer to them as our “Canadians” and they were HILARIOUS. The next 8 hours or so went by as quickly as they possibly could thanks to this group. The night was filled with games, group hugs to keep warm, taking pictures of the cute boys in the distance, learning about Canada, talking about Florida, eating a box of $30 pizza, and laughing so hard at times I couldn’t breathe. I can’t leave out our other sets of new friends coming from places such as, South Carolina, Minnesota, Tennessee, Germany, and North Dakota. The last hour of the night was by far the most exciting hour of my life up to this point. From the lights to the music to the confetti flying around I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face. Ringing in the New Year in Times Square is a MUST for everyone. An absolute must.

New York City completely captured my heart and as sad as I was to leave, I couldn’t wait to sleep in my bed again…I got over sleeping in my bed after the first night and am now dying to go back to the city. I’ll be the person renting a tiny Brownstone in Brooklyn for some ridiculous amount of money, and then spend the next five years and extra cash renovating it to my liking just to be there every single day. Until then, it’s back to the grind with work and school but don’t worry New York, we shall meet again soon.

A special thanks to Shena (momma numero dos) for the lovely hotel room, to Jeremy for being my personal tour guide for a night, to all of the amazing people we met, to Dana and company for everything we put you through and of course, to Stormi for being my partner in crime!

“One belongs to New York instantly,

one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years.”  

-Thomas Wolfe (one of my FAVORITE authors, thanks to Ms. Pera)

I Tip My Hat To You

Recently, my little town of St. Cloud endured a very tragic loss. A dear friend of many lost his life fighting for our freedom in Afghanistan at a time when giving back and helping others is the talk of the season. For the extraordinarily brave people fighting for so many strangers, giving is the talk of their lives. I'd like to take the time to thank all of the men and women serving our country, who have served our country, and who are waiting to do so. None of us are invincible, although we tend to think we are. Take the time to tell people how you feel, to forgive someone that you may not believe deserves forgiveness, to show kindness to a complete stranger, and to spend time with the people that mean the most. Turn off your television, turn down the radio, sit down and reconnect.

To my wonderful family and friends: I love you all more than you know, and appreciate every day I am blessed to be a part of your lives.

To Joey and Jesse: Thank you, I love you both tremendously.
To all of our service men and women: Thank you, we are in your debt forever.
RIP Patrick Deans.

If I Knew

by Norma Cornett Marek

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep. If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more. If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day. If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you would know I do. If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, Well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away. For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, And we always get a second chance to make everything just right. There will always be another day to say "I love you," And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do?" But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight. So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day, That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss And you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish. So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Thank you," "Please forgive me," or "It's okay." And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

Spend a Day Being Busy Doing Nothing

I’m almost positive none of you are strangers to the hustle of every day life. Unless you’ve been graciously blessed with millions of dollars (unlike myself) and don’t have to work for a living, it becomes too easy to get caught up in schedules, routines, and everything business. Most of the time we’re oblivious to the fact that our lives are happening right now, every second of every day and if we don’t stop to breathe we’re going to miss out on a lot. The other day I realized I was being sucked into this dangerous abyss when I found myself scheduling a phone call. I was sitting at work texting with a friend and we literally went through our calendars, deciphering schedules and picking a day and time to sit down and have an actual conversation. The only word I can think of to describe the feeling I had when I realized what we were doing is ‘sad’. Our relationships, the one we have with ourselves, and the ones we have with others are one of the most important things in life and we shouldn’t have to schedule time for them. I know you’re thinking “Okay, but I’m a full time student” or “I have a full time job, there are some of us with responsibilities” and I’m right there with you. I am a full time student, I have a full time job and my (rare) days off are typically spent running errands, baby-sitting my more than worth it God daughter, catching up on two weeks worth of laundry or (rarely) cleaning something. In my opinion, these are all excuses. Never be too busy for yourself, for your family, for your God, or for your friends. One of my all time favorite things to do is to have a “mental health day” I’ve been doing it since I was in high school and it’s basically a day when I (spontaneously) decide that I’m not going to do anything other than the things that make me happy. No school, no work, no homework, no leaving the house if I don’t feel like it. Usually I spend these days laying around in my pajamas watching movies (or my best friend, Oprah) and eating the types of food that should only be seen on my guilty pleasure list. I may venture out to get a pedicure or see a movie but typically I stay in and build up the energy I’m going to need to get me through the months until my next mental health day. Take a mental health day. Work on yourself, and work on your relationships with others. Remember how important balance is to our lives, and practice it.  

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity, but balance, order, rhythm and harmony.”

            -Thomas Merton

“I’ve learned that you can’t have everything and do everything at the same time.”

            -Oprah Winfrey

Why Oprah is My Home Girl

I absolutely love Oprah Winfrey. I’m not talking about loving her in the sense of watching her show every day (of course I do) but more like I would probably be arrested for stalking if she lived anywhere near me. I know everything about her from her birthday (January 29, 1954) to the fact that she was raised on a farm in Mississippi. I will meet that woman one day, and we WILL be best friends. Here are some (compared to the magnitude) of reasons why I love this woman:

1. The Leadership Foundation Academy-this is a school for girls in South Africa that Oprah founded.

2. Oprah’s Angel Network- this network raises money for charitable organizations around the world.

3. The fact that she continuously strives to send a positive message.

4. She came from nothing (literally nothing) and made herself into the most influential woman, and one of the most influential people in the world.

5. She loves cheese

6. She recommends phenomenal books

7. She appeared on my other best friend (Ellen DeGeneres’) show. (Oprah doesn’t do interviews)

8. She takes people to Australia…because she can.

9. “Biology is the LEAST of what makes someone a mother.” –Oprah Winfrey

            -I am a HUGE supporter of adoption (my cousin was adopted from China) and love that someone that doesn’t have ‘children’ in the raw sense of the word can acknowledge this fact.

10. “I have a lot of things to prove to myself. One is that I can live my life fearlessly.”

-Oprah Winfrey

            -The title of this blog is explanation enough.

Everyone should love this woman!

Becoming a Statistic

For all of the amazing things our glorious country is known for, marriage is not one of them. The United States is numero uno on the (recorded) divorce rate list for 2010, 2009, 2008 and I’m sure the years keep going (I sort of got depressed and stopped looking). Call me crazy but I believe that marriage is forever. When two people stand before God, before their family and friends and repeat the words “til’ death do us part” I really do believe it should be until death. Of course most people don’t say their ‘I do’s’ with the notion of divorce in their head, why then, do over fifty percent of couples in our country become that statistic? They stop choosing love, that’s why. They stop making their relationship a priority and they throw in the towel. A little over six months ago my parents decided they were going to put our family on that list. As I’m sure you can imagine the shock I felt when my mom sat me down to tell me my entire life was about to change. Who thinks their parents are going to get divorced when you’re in college? I certainly didn’t.  I felt like I was going through another break-up except this time it was a twenty-one year relationship. I remember talking to some of my friends about it and while they were all very sympathetic I recall some saying things like “well at least it’s happening when you’re older, it’s so much worse when you’re a kid and can’t comprehend what’s going on.” This statement frustrated, scratch that. This statement pissed me off more than anything. How do they know if it’s harder? They have no idea what this feels like. I spent twenty-one years knowing my parents as a married couple. We went on family vacations every year, we spent Sunday’s grilling with friends and watching football and we went out to dinner together at least once a week. I was always so proud to tell my friends that my parents were still married. I looked to them as the role model relationship that I one day wanted to have. I believed they were the parents that were in it for the long haul no matter how rough the road got so I’m sure you can put the pieces of anger I felt together when they told me they were giving up, that they had given up a long time ago and had only stayed together for my benefit. Seriously? For my benefit? Let me just tell you that’s the biggest load of bull I’ve ever heard in my entire life, and believe me, I’ve heard A LOT of bull. There have been three people in my life that I trusted more than anything. Three people that I loved unconditionally and that I never thought would lie to me and let me down. Surprisingly enough, they did. That One Boy and my parents did those exact things to me and I just wanted to scream. Actually, I did scream, a lot. I screamed, I cried, I laughed, I ranted, any sort of emotional expression you can imagine I expressed in those first few months.

If you know me, you know that I am an EXTREMELY rational person. I can usually see both sides of anything, even when I happen to be on one of the sides and so I continued to talk myself out of being upset because “I wasn’t the only one.” I would tell myself there were so many people in the world going through pain I couldn’t even fathom and I needed to suck it up and move on. Never.Do.This. Yes, there are people all over the world experiencing things so much worse than anything I’ve ever had to go through in my (very blessed) life BUT that doesn’t mean what I felt wasn’t real, wasn’t important.

Now, here we are, right in the middle of the first holiday season as a statistic and the next milestone in the life of the divorced is about to happen. I’m meeting the new addition to my dad’s life in just a few days and I’m not sure how to feel about it. The ten year old in me wants to be sassy and give her a run for her money (I’m a PRO at this) but the adult I’ve so unconsciously grown to be knows better. I’m not sure if she’s a packaged deal, or if she comes solo but I do know I’m not ready to think in terms of step-siblings. I always thought I would be more concerned with disliking anyone that came into my parent’s new lives but as I’m going through it the only thing I can think about is “what if I like her?” It’s very, very hard to win me over and if she’s capable of doing so I’m going to have to acknowledge that. For the first time in my adult life, I wish I had siblings. At least I wouldn’t have to sit through these fun-filled dinners on my own. On the other hand, I have been SO blessed with some of the most amazing friends on the planet and they are the reason I am where I am today.

No matter what you’re going through in life, let yourself go through it. Let yourself feel complete happiness when you’re happy, and complete sadness when you’re sad. Put your whole self in. Walk through the storm, don’t ignore it and I promise there will be a very bright rainbow waiting for you on the other side.

“A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there’s less of you.”

-Margaret Alwood

“When life turns, as it invariably will-when it seems nearly impossible to summon the courage to go on-there is only one best thing to do; put your whole self in.”

-from One True Theory of Love